Then and Now

The picture on the left was taken on August 22nd, 2010. I had been on WW for 2 weeks. The funny thing is I knew I needed to lose weight. With that being said I never saw myself that big. In fact I thought I was looking pretty darn good in this picture. Boy did I have blinders on. The picture on the right was taken on May 19th, 2012.

Looking at these two pictures side by side all I can say is WOW. I never want to forget that person on the left. She was tired, unhappy, miserable, angry, depressed and waiting to die. She had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, her fibromyalgia was at it's worst, she was taking medications for stomach problems, plus a handful of other meds just to keep going. She couldn't walk to the mailbox without breathing hard, getting out of a chair was almost more work than what it was worth (except to grab something else unhealthy to stick in her mouth), she parked in the handicap parking, she was using a cane, just doing her housework was almost to much. she got so she hated cooking because that meant cleaning up afterwards. It was a lot of burgers, fries and pizza. Anything she could just throw into the oven. The easier the better. She had given up on ever enjoying life again.

August 5th, 2010 was the turning point in my life. I remember waking up, walking to my recliner, crawling in and crying my eyes out. I didn't want to die but I had forgotten how to live. Food had become my closest friend. It was always there, when I was lonely, depressed, celebrating or just to quiet the demons in my head. It was there to comfort, fill a void, and never ever questioned why.  I was miserable because I was making myself miserable.

 I had a husband who loved me (inspite of myself), my son was happy ( new wife and kids) my MOM was finally at peace and in heaven, Dad was doing well learning how to start over, we were living in a new house that I loved, what could be wrong.  .

  I made up my mind that day (August 5th, 2010) I had had enough. My life was only over if I allowed it to be. I could no longer use the excuse my life sucked because it really didn't. I got online and looked up the closest WW meeting. It was that very day and I went to the  6 pm meeting . I tried to talk myself out of going.  It was hard walking into that meeting. It wasn't my first trip through the WW doors. It was my 3rd or 4th time to join. I knew from my previous times that the program worked if you worked the program. I knew this was what I had to do to save ME.

I weighed in that night and realized that if I wanted to live to enjoy all that life has given me and to become the healthy, happy person that had gotten lost along the way I had to make a commitment. A commitment to put me first. Whatever I needed to do I would do. I decided to allow myself two years to reach my goal. Always before I wanted instant weight loss. I don't know if it was my age or my desperation this time but I knew I had to take whatever time it took me to get to my goal. I would learn a whole new way of eating. A whole new lifestyle. My journey was just beginning.

 It has been such a rewarding journey. I have made so many friends. I'm no longer lonely and depressed because now I look forward to going to my weekly WW meetings.  I started out at the 6 pm meeting, it just wasn't for me. So I tried out the 10am meeting, that worked. One morning I woke up in time to make the 8 am meeting .With no excuses handy I went. I now go to both of the morning meetings. I have been so blessed to have made so many friends at each meeting. Plus I hear something different at each meeting. I walk to Subway between meetings and enjoy a health Breakfast Sub.

I give THANKS to Kim ( the absolute best WW leader), all the friends I have made along the way, my family for their continued support and understanding, and to my friend Rita who has laughed with me, cried with me and was always there to listen, encourage and give me a push when needed.

I haven't reached the personal goal that I set that day but I'm getting really close. The day I reach that goal won't be the end it will just be the beginning. The beginning of a lifestyle I look forward to.

                                                      LIVING